Neal Caffrey of USA Network’s “White Collar”
By all outward appearances, Neal Caffrey of USA Network’s “White Collar” is the guy every man wants to be and every woman wants to date. He’s smart, sexy and he’s a snappy dresser with a quick wit. Unfortunately, he’s a con artist, and not even a good one at that. He’s an art forger on loan to the FBI for the remainder of his prison sentence, and the GPS tracker on his ankle isn’t there for decoration.
He was busted twice by the same FBI agent, Peter Burke, and now he has to help Burke take down white collar criminals like himself. Caffrey is allotted $700 per month for housing, which, in Manhattan, barely covers a roach-infested flop house. True to form, Caffrey charms an old widow into letting him live in the guest room of her downtown mansion and she also outfits him with her late husband’s expensive wardrobe. Within 24 hours of his conditional release from prison, Neal Caffrey looks like a Wall Street fat cat – and has the address to back it up.
There is no doubt that he is a talented forger, and his reputation precedes him in a number of Burke’s cases. However, Caffrey was busted forging stock certificates, which shows very poor judgment. It’s true that a signed stock certificate is as liquid as cash, but every stock certificate contains a CUSIP number, and the company’s transfer agent would spot the fake CUSIP number as soon as the certificate was deposited.
Caffrey’s personal finances suggest the illusion of wealth and the reality of poverty. The one clue he possesses in the disappearance of his girlfriend is a vintage Bordeaux bottle they kept throughout their relationship. A number of Bordeaux wines make up the most expensive in France, with Petrus routinely fetching more than $1,000 a bottle. Unfortunately for Caffrey, his bottle is as empty as the promise he made to his girlfriend to fill it with the good stuff when he finally made a big score. He was forced to fill the bottle over and over again with boxed wine and, upon chemical analysis, his cohort Mozzie pronounced the last wine to inhabit the bottle was “a lovely Franzia from last October.”
Caffrey is clever, and he provides Burke insight into the criminal mind. Normally a by-the-book FBI agent, Burke nonetheless values Caffrey’s ability to close cases by coloring outside the lines. Caffrey’s way with the ladies comes in handy as well, and Burke comes to him for marital advice from time to time. Burke makes about $87,000 per year as an FBI agent, so that’s something for Caffrey to consider when thinking about career moves. Failing that, the average marriage counselor makes $43,210 per year and doesn’t face criminal charges for solving a couple’s problems.
If Caffrey is successful in solving the mystery of his disappearing girlfriend, however, he might consider a career as a private investigator. Top private investigators make around $60,000 per year, and Caffrey would certainly be at the top of that game.
Most likely, though, he’ll go back to being a con artist when he is released. Among the most common cons these days are identity theft and credit card fraud. That is why it is important to protect your identity and credit card accounts.
Guys like Neal Caffrey are out there, and they’re not all handsome rogues with a quick wit and a sly smile. Some are hardcore criminals who never stop to consider the damage they cause to the lives of their victims.
And you can bet none of them are helping the FBI to catch bad guys.
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